My train hack: how to smuggle a bike across Europe
Trains and bikes could be perfect companions. Between them you can go almost anywhere. Except, the cyclist’s free spirited mentality clashes badly with the bureaucratic principles of train system authorities. Most train designs display a profound disdain for the very idea of putting a bike on them.
Last summer I cycled all across Europe, from Oxford to Istanbul, and that is nothing compared to the effort of taking train across Europe with a bike. Every train operator has their own rules, which are carefully coordinated to clash with each other. Great Western can fit 800 passengers on a train, who can bring 1000 items of small and 100 items of large luggage. How many bikes? TWO! (That used to be four, before they gave up the other two for ‘crew storage’). No wonder you better book in advance (by telephone and only during working hours, since the online booking system was discontinued after the system introduced on 24 March 2026 produced bike booking barcodes that the system mistakes for full-fare tickets - doh!).
Next is Eurostar, who don’t know themselves whether their trains can take bikes or not. Allegedly the London to Brussels leg can take bikes, if they are pre-booked (again, I found no such option online) and boxed up. That box would then be too big for any subsequent train, like the ICE, which can only take ‘assembled’ bikes, provided you pre-booked, and here pre-booking is hard when connections are routinely missed. And what to do with the sizable bike box at this point? This is bigger than the luggage racks. In short, this mish-mash of rules makes it practically impossible to take a bike from Britain across Europe and back by train. Until now!
Time for some of that free-spirited cycle thinking.
The problem with bike boxes is:
- They are big! Because they need to accommodate a range of frame geometries and wheels
- They are heavy! To protect the precious content from knocks (most are designed with airport luggage handlers in mind)
- They are expensive! To be honest, this is probably what started me looking for alternatives in the first place
Let’s have a look at the object in question. The longest diagonal of my bike is 110cm, but if I spin the fork 180 degrees the longest side could be under 100cm, with a height of 80cm. Eurostar specify luggage to be below 85cm, without any reference to how many dimensions they live in.
I just chance it and order 100x80cm upholstery foam. One 12.5cm thick (three dimensional as I am) and another one 2.5cm thick as a cover. This stuff is fantastic for cutting to shape. I draw the outline with a marker pen like a bike frame crime scene. I have so much fun, once the frameset is cut out, I go OCD: seat post, pedals, skewers and other bits ans bob, shoes and tools - they all get a custom space. Incredibly satisfying.
The old shower curtains are perfect for wrapping this little contraption up. They actually come back out of the bin, where I put them the evening before, after storing them for years in the vain hope that they would have come in useful. Luckily that day is today, before bin day.
Keeping the wheels separate saves a lot of space and I have a spare pair of wheel bags that will do just fine.
The maiden voyage
The first real test is the Eurostar. Great Western from Oxford to London could not have cared less what I was carrying. Eurostar, however, have rules and in the security line a friendly lady asks me if my bag complies. I say confidently “Yes”, given that two dimensions are definitely below 85cm, so I comply twice over, as far as my interpretation of their rules goes.
While queuing, I overhear a man with a bike (assembled) arguing with one of the staff. It doesn’t sound fun and involves terms like “pre-booking”, “bike-boxes”, and “drop-off point”. Luckily I don’t have a bike. Just a shoulder bag of sorts with a ‘frame’. To support this narrative, Max is carrying my wheel bags and hangs back a few places behind me in the queue.
The next hurdle is the security scanner. That could be a little tight. Perhaps diagonal? No need for such games. I get helpfully pointed to the big-boy scanner, which is extra tall. The case sails through upright and proud.
The luggage rack on the Eurostar is almost custom made for my parcel (or was it the other way round?). Eurostar - tick!!
In Brussels we change to the ICE. This one has bike spaces, but good luck booking them. Totally oversubscribed. I walk past the packed set of racks and rejoice that my 25cm slice neatly fits between the back of our seat and a glass separator.
Then comes the announcement: ‘There are too many bikes on this train. All unreserved bikes need to leave the train at the next stop, before the train can continue.’ Feeling even more smug that I do not have a bike.
To test the bag right and proper, my journey to Mulhouse takes me via Hamburg, Rendsburg, Berlin and Nuremberg. Even the regional trains and the TGV prove no obstacle to my versatile package. In Mulhouse my bike is to meet the Tour de France.
The bike is assembled in about 15 minutes and off I go into the mountains. The bike runs super smoothly. I am so pleased.
The first category climb where Tadei will soon put the hammer down on this years Tour the France among the most insane crowd (in numbers and spirit) is where my riding ends. When reaching for the lowest gear (which I do need), the rear mech falls off. The hanger snapped. As the lovely chap at Cycle Meha, back in Mulhouse calls it: “Scheiße”. The part (D-626) is not much bigger than a gummy bear (see photographic evidence), but a rather custom part, which few shops would have in store. A technical knock out. It’s fine though. I had my fun and the main thing was to prove that bikes can be taken on trains, not ridden up mountains (I knew that already).
I settle for public transport to see the next Tour stages. And thank goodness I do not try this with my uncased bike. The only train back from Belfort to Mulhouse, which hundred’s of cycle enthusiasts want to take on their way from today’s finish town to tomorrow’s start town, is cancelled. The replacement bus is taking ‘bike unsuitability’ to a level train companies could only dream of. I do not envy the poor riders who have to cram their precious carbon into the belly of this bus.
It need not be like that. The bus that got me home after the hanger failure has well designed with hooks on the back of it. As I said, these are great and take up no extra space.
On the whole, the bag was the most reliable and resilient part of this trip. Trains failed several times. The train from Hamburg to Berlin had to turn back half way because a tree had fallen on the overhead line. (How can trees be allowed to be taller than their distance to the nearest overhead line?! German tree lovers apparently are hard core.)
Of the 13 (!) trains/busses I tested my bag on during this trip, only about half where on time or ran at all.
Here is my proposition: trim trees along train lines, allow more bikes on trains, build more cycle paths and then grow more trees on the space saved from fewer roads.
